Dear Writer's Block

Dear Writer’s Bock,

It’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry I haven’t been returning your calls. It’s just that I don’t think you’re the one for me.

The only time you come around is when I do not want you. Where are you when I’m not crunched for time and desperately trying to meet a deadline? I cannot cherish the time we have together if you’re swarming me with your incessant nature when I’m stressed.

It really is nothing personal, I just don’t think I’m the best version of myself when you’re around. Who wants to be around me when I’m pulling out my hair, breaking a sweat, and anxiously pacing around the room? You know those late nights where you’d be around, and then would suddenly leave when I was just getting used to you? Is it bad if the next morning I would feel relieved and wouldn’t call you? Doesn’t sound like the most stable and healthy relationship to me. You drain me Writer’s Block, and make me feel inadequate as a writer.

Another reason I don’t think we are good for each other is the fact that I need inspiration. It seems like the only way I’m ever going to find that is if I’m not with you. Everybody needs their “Mr. Right”, right?

Somewhere down the road you will find that someone special, your “better half”. You have so much going for you: malevolence, an unyielding determination to make my articles terrible, and the ability to distract me for hours, even days, from my work. With a little bit of that grit you used to inflict stress and misery upon me, you could find your soul mate.

I hope you find happiness eventually Writer’s Block, whether that means you’re making someone else’s life a living hell or not. I do also hope eventually that we can be friends.

Sincerely,

Aimee O’Connor

Hot and Sweaty Sunday.

Today I tried a new activity in which I am 100% convinced I will never willingly try again: HOT yoga.
I have been yoga crazy for the past couple months, and swear that I have seen changes in my flexibility, ability to relax, and stress levels. Just when I think I am about to explode from stress all around me, downward dog comes to my rescue.

Today I missed my Love. Energy. Power. Yoga class due to a coma-like 10 hour sleep.
So I thought I'd give the hot yoga flow class offered in the afternoon.

I wish I knew what I was getting myself into.

For all hot-yogi's out there, I'm sorry for bashing your practice. If you enjoy basking in your own sweat and feeling like you are being baked in an oven like a cake, be my guest!

Personally, I did not find it made me work harder than I normally would. In fact, the sweat was making me feel so uncomfortable, that I found myself working less.
Also, the savasana was just wayyy too short for my liking.
I need at least 5 minutes to get my mind to slow down, and a few more minutes for it to get boxed up and have room made for meditation.

One thing- the only thing- that I did enjoy about it was that I wasn't tired after.
Normally, I am either very very sore, or pleasantly fatigued from a good workout.

Finally, there is NOTHING pleasant about driving home in drenched clothes.

All for now,

Aimee OC

Bikram Hot Yoga- May possibly be better than power yoga in a ridiculously hot room?

Failure? Maybe.

Today is May 5th. 

Today I wrote my first advanced placement exam for English Literature and Composition. 

Today I tried deep-fried tofu.

Today I did goofy yoga poses in the sun with my sister.

Today I admit defeat in my goal for this blog.

You see, my initial idea was to maintain my "Holidays for Everyday" until June 20 (my birthday). The problem with this idea was that it became more of a chore, and less of a hobby (as it started out to be.) 
I never intended to give up this easily, I did honestly want to accomplish something with this blog. 
Turns out I accomplished several things that are entirely unexpected:
- Went international -> I have been read in more than 20 countries, and continually subscribed to by 4. This alone, is more than I ever could have hoped for. Even when I check my stats, and I see that 6 people have read my blog since I posted an hour ago.. it's so exciting!
- Broadened my horizons -> I tried cooking on my own for goodness sake! This is entirely foreign to me!
- Made people happy -> You all know who you are.
- Forced me to do some research -> It's not as easy to make sweeping statements about historical events when you're publishing it than when you're just chatting up a friend.
- Made me a geek -> Like the new layout? I had to figure that one out by myself. Html ftw.
By the way. Archivo Del Blog means is the Spanish equivalent for Blog Archives. 
Don't ask me why I did that. It gives my little blog character :)


All in all, I have enjoyed giving my blog a bit of a "point" and not just random rantings of a caffeinated lunatic. Trust me, I had to resist the temptation sometimes..
But it has come to the point where I need something fresh for A Slice of Life. 
Something new, something exciting.
After all... Yesterday was National Renewal Day :) 




In the meantime, be prepared for a few rants, and perhaps a few nonsensical ravings. 


All for now,


Aimee OC

April 28

Today...

*Great Poetry Reading Day

*Kiss your mate day

Since my mate is unavailable.. I suppose I will read some poetry.

But to give this blog a little substance, I will leave any readers with a couple great poems (a couple of which I only read this year...)

Because I Could Not Stop for Death- Emily Dickinson

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.
We passed the school, where children strove
At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.
Or rather, he passed us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,My tippet only tulle.*
We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.
Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.


* How much do you love the diction here?
** Oh, the irony. Love it.




Dover Beach- Matthew Arnold 
*Top 5 in my favorites, for about 6 or 7 years now.


The sea is calm to-night.
The tide is full, the moon lies fair
Upon the straits; on the French coast the light
Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand;
Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.
Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!
Only, from the long line of spray
Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,
Listen! you hear the grating roar
Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,
At their return, up the high strand,
Begin, and cease, and then again begin,
With tremulous cadence slow, and bring
The eternal note of sadness in.


Sophocles long ago
Heard it on the Agaean, and it brought
Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow
Of human misery; we
Find also in the sound a thought,
Hearing it by this distant northern sea.


The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world.*


Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,**
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.


* Gorgeous imagery.. no? I adore the description paralleling the ocean.
** How I feel about the future at the moment. "So various, so beautiful, so new."

Sonnet 18- Will Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:*

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer's lease hath all too short a date,

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimmed,

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed.

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,

Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st.

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

* One of the best one-liners I've ever heard.

** Heart melting!

Nothing Gold Can Stay- Robert Frost

* A favorite since grade 8

Nature's first green is gold

Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay. 

* ooh, personification!

** ooh, allusion!

Butterfly- Unknown author

* Just a cute rhyming one, I remembered it because of a poetry project I did in grade 6. Ha!

Today I saw a butterfly,
as it floated in the air;
Its wings were spread in splendor,
Unaware that I was there.

It was such a thing of beauty,
It was a sight to see;
It was the perfect masterpiece,
Full of grace and majesty.


I found myself thinking,
to what can this compare?
And then, of course, I thought of you,
And I wished that you were there.*


God sure was extra careful,
When He formed and fashioned you;
You too, became a masterpiece,
Yet God is still not through.
He's daily making changes,
that other folks can't see;
You're already true perfection,
At least you are to me.

 * Awwwww!








Okay that's enough for now,
I do have another for someone to look up themselves.. "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning". I have a reason I'm not posting this one, but I cant say because the person I'm saving this for might read it! It has a great message, one that has spoken to me more loudly than any other poem I've read in years. 


All for now,


Aimee OC

April 21
Even though Tuna Rights Day seemed like it would be interesting to acknowledge, my mother's 51st birthday overshadowed the icky smelling fish.
It was a nice evening, went out for fancy dinner at the Cactus Club and watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Because that evening was so pleasant, it more or less got the ball rolling for a few more "family days".


April 22
Happy Earth Day! (*Note: now belated) When I woke up this morning, I was crushed to find out that our holy grail (aka the coffee maker) had broken. We literally did not know what to do with ourselves, just looked at it for a few minutes and once it didn't snap right into action.. we succumbed to orange pekoe tea. Which just did not work whatsoever.
So I ended up having this major lightbulb moment, where I remembered my friend telling me that on April 22 if you bring in your own coffee mug or "tumbler" you can get free coffee.
Well this was music to my memory, so my mom loaded me up with six (i repeat, SIX) mugs to take to the closest Starbucks. They obliged to my request happily, after they heard my sob story about our beloved coffee maker.


Update:
We bought a new coffee machine that very afternoon... and have had gross coffee ever since. Seems like my dad just cannot get the ratio of beans to water down... and we will continue suffering until he does :(


April 23
Happy birthday William Shakespeare!
It is also Shirley Temple's birthday.. and to celebrate this one I enjoyed a large glass of the drink named after her on my patio, in the heat of the afternoon. My mom made me salmon, quinoa, and steamed broccoli without me even asking... It was just awesome.


*A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
*We are such stuff which dreams are made on.
*All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
*Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
*What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
*To be, or not to be: that is the question.


-Quotes by Shakespeare
(If you don't recognize any of these.. you need to get out more.)

April 24- Easter Sunday


I am not an overly religious person. I was born into Roman Catholicism and have made a fair share of sacraments including Baptism, First Communion, Reconciliation and Confirmation. So naturally, my family attended church on Sunday partially as tradition, more for my parents' own peace.
The best part of the day was partaking in our other Easter traditions... Including the backyard Easter egg hunt (eggs filled with chocolate mini eggs, Werther's Original, or money if you are so lucky) and the Easter baskets. The egg hunt is always a treat, it seems as though there is always one sister who cleans up all the money, and the others are plagued with sugar highs. This year, with one sister gone, I took the place as the H-Core egg hunter and money finder. It was kind of nice, seeing as I am 90% broke at the moment. Now I can afford gas.. Yes...
The Easter baskets are always a treat, filled with little necessities that my mom picks out for each of us :)
the highlight was getting gift cards for things that I have been lusting after. Let me tell you, there's nothing like retail therapy to make you feel better during a life slump. 


April 25- Childcare Professionals Day
Not going to reflect too too much on this one except to say that there were 5 boys who took extremely good care of 10 intoxicated children on this night. Love you all :)


April 26- Hug a Friend Day
I'm going to count the previous night with this celebration, seeing as hugging friends was basically all I did. Today however, I did hug two boys in particular that are close to me. One being one of my best friends, that I share oh-so-many memories with, and that was a kind gentleman and amazing host. The other being none other than my own man, who put up with 2 and a half hours worth of Meerkat families during a documentary as well as a grubby and hungover girlfriend. Hugs make the world go round!


April 27- 
Okay, well it's not what one would classify as a "real" holiday, but it is indeed celebrated. 
Happy 18th Birthday Sierra :)
It's been a roller coaster ride of crazy, unforgettable, well-worth memories during my friendship with you. Together we have simultaneously learned about, and lived life, and that's all I could ever ask for in a friend.

montagggge

Friday will be a gong-show, and surely will add to those memories of mine, and possibly add to those nights we don't remember as well.


All for now,


Aimee OC

April 18th- International Jugglers Day
I didn't necessarily juggle objects today, but tasks and emotions.
I woke up this morning thinking: Please god, let it be Saturday. Please.
That's how badly I did not want to go to school.
My weekend (sad but true) was solely dedicated towards homework. I squeezed in some time with my man, but just barely. And that was only enough time to watch Psycho and eat an embarrassing amount of sushi. It was unlimited okay?
But today, after all that hard work.. I needed a 'mental health day'. However, the 'book talk' of sorts that I had been preparing for was due to be presented at 9:00 am. So I gave in, but barely giving myself enough time to get ready. I went to school without even having coffee- that's how little time I had. 
The presentation went well, but that's besides the point. 
After that, there was NOTHING keeping me going..
So I ended up not going to two classes. Instead of chatting in journalism, and getting overwhelmed by confusion in a chemistry lab, I used my time to socialize and work on math homework in what I now know exists in the KSS Library: the Secret Room. It really is not secret, but I went almost 3 years in that school without knowing of its existence.
Getting back to the juggling...
I felt a little out of my own body today.. and I don't know why. The best reasoning I can conjure is that the strongly lit flame that I have had going for so long.. is burning out. School-wise, I mean. 
I have been working so hard, wasting so much paper for my to-do lists, and even more brain power planning and time managing to get things done, that I think my wick is running short. It is now the final stretch of the school year, simultaneously thrilling and terrifying. 


I reflected a lot today, especially after pilates and meditating. I want to be able to look back on this time now and not be disgusted with poor attendance or motivation. I want to see my success but more importantly to be content with it. 


That's where I'm at right now. 


April 19th- Humorous Day
Lots of good things today:
- Slept in until 8:45 :)
- Had coffee dates with ma girlfriends
- Started planning some grad and post-grad things
- Studied for math (well not fuuun, but was productive)
- Got a present from my lit teacher


Since we had just finished up our Frankenstein extravaganza in literature class.. My teacher loaned me a parody film, "The Young Frankenstein" for my own viewing pleasure and a bit of comic relief for the stressful times I'm experiencing lately. 


I must say.. I have never laughed out loud so LOUD and so FREQUENTLY when I've been by myself.  Usually, if I'm watching something funny by myself, I snicker quietly to myself. I don't know why, that's just how I do. 
But this movie was hilarious. Exactly what I needed.

Igor :)

And I recommend it to any people with a good appreciation of Mary Shelley's story, and black and white comedies. 


April 20th- Hitler's birthday... Yay.
420... Yay.
Well, needless to say.. I did not partake in either of these holidays.
But in anticipation for what I am doing tomorrow night... I will pretend that tomorrow is Cuckoo Day.
I'm not sure what this entails in reality...
But for me it consists of renting "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" with my boytoy and famjam. 
Can't wait.

All for now,


Aimee OC

These twists and turns of fate;;

April 12- Look @ sky, reach as high as you can
-* Today, my interpretation of this holiday was "shoot for the stars", and "the sky is the limit"! I applied this to my schooling during the day, by utilizing my spare time to get homework done in advance. And at night time, during my yoga/pilates/meditation class, I pushed myself like I never had before. By the end of the 2 hours, I was sweating and breathing hard, which is a foreign thing to my workout routines. Also, I can finally say that I did something other than nap during the 15 minute Savasana! It was the first time I concentrated on breathing and relaxing the whole time. And I admit, my mind never was unoccupied with thoughts, but it is progress!

April 13- Blame someone else day, thank school librarian
-*This was a bad day compared to yesterday. I'm not going into details for fear someone may read this who knows what I am talking about, but I left school in a mad... bad... way. Luckily I was able to get more grounded and calm my sh** before no one got hurt.
Kidding.
Kind of.
So basically I definitely blamed someone.. even though I had FULL intentions of thanking my dear school librarian Mrs. Bede. Really.


April 14- Pecan day
-* Pecan pie! Yay!


April 15- First McDonald's Opens in Des Plaines, IL 1955
-* Ironically enough, I didn't know that it was the anniversary of McDonald's but I did go there unknowing for my midnight cup of coffee!


April 16- Stress awareness day
-* This definitely summed up my yesterday, as I worked my bum off on a presentation for English on and off from 9:30 to 1:00 am. I am done now though, yay!


April 17- National Cheeseball Day
-* mmm. cheese.